An Accurate Summary of the Contents of the Newspapers Every Day for the Past Sodding Year

Bond. Bond. Bond. Bond. Boooooooooond. Bond. Ian Fleming! Ian Fleming! Bond.

Bond! Bond! Beeeooooooooooond! (Bond.) Bond? Bond. Bond; Bond Bond Bond. Bond.

Bondbondbond BOND. Bondbondbond BOND. Bondbondbondbond Bondbondbondbond Bondbondbondbond, Bondbondbondbond Bondbondbondbond Bondbondbondbond, Bondbondbond Bond! Bondbondbond Bond! Bondbondbond Bond, Bond, BOND!

Bond, B-bond, b-b-b-b-b-Bond, Bond, B-bond, b-b-b-b-b-Bond, Bond Bond! Bondbondbondboondbond, Bondbondbond can't do the rest.

Bondbondbond-bondbond b-b-Bondbondbond-bondbond bondbondBONDBOND! Bond bond bond.

Bond-Bond, Bond Bond Bond-Bond? Bond bond bond Bondbond.
Bondbond 'bond Bondbond bond bond Bond bond Bondbond
Bond Bond bond Bondbond bond Bondbondbond Bondbond
Bond bond Bond, Bondbond bond Bond.

Bond-bond Bond-bond Bond-bond Bond-bond Bond-bond. Bond, bondbond, bondbondbond, bond Bond bond Bond. Bondbond! Bond bond Bond! Bond bondbond bondbond! Bond bond BOND. Bond BOND. Bond bond bondbond. Bond bond Bond.

BOND. Oil prices a bit. Bond. Recession a bit. Bond! Presidental election a bit. Bond. Campaign war-chests: Republicans 200 million billion, Democrats 800 million billion, BOND EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND MILLION BILLION TRILLION every fucking week, I mean that's minimum, minimum, that's without tips or extras or nothing, THEY WILL ALL KNOW ABOUT IT, ALL, IT WILL BE TATTOOED ON THEIR EYELIDS, there's a deaf blind kid in the Congo who doesn't know about it, I want him dead, dead, you hear? TOTAL FUCKING AWARENESS MEANS TOTAL FUCKING AWARENESS, they will know about this film or we will chew their fucking faces off. I mean this has to be transcendental, you dig? Everyone, everywhere, at every minute, must be in an all-consuming togetherness meditating on the majesty of BOOOOOOOOND. Oh, the power! Hail to the super-power! Of Petrox! And Bond.

Bond! Bond! (Shaking someone by the lapels): Bond, I tell you, Bond! Bond. Was Ian Fleming's duck the inspiration for Scaramanga? We have pictures. In other news, Bond. We meet the fucking granny of the third runner of the junior stand-in best boy and Christ give me a break. Oh and Bond. News at Ten: Bong! BOND. Bong! BOND. Bong! Booooooond. Simple Bond recipes for every housewife to help you through the Bond. How Bond can Bond your Bond. Bonding with Bond, Bondage with Bond, invest in a Bond Bond. Bond bonds bon-bons at the Bond Bond. Speaking of which, Bond. And now for something completely Bond. It's at this Bond of the Bond that a man's thoughts turn to Bond. And so to Bond. Darling, you're so Bond, what are you thinking about? (Sigh) Bond. Me too. And so they hold hands and turn to gaze into the bright tomorrow like a piece of Soviet heroic art and


The rest is Bond.

October 18th in the Year of the Great Bond