THE INCONTINENT HOUSEWIVES WHO ARE POSSESSED BY GOLDBERG FROM HAROLD PINTER'S 'THE BIRTHDAY PARTY'
PET LOSS SUPPORT GROUP

Judith:
 
 
 
 
Hi guys! Just thought I'd check in. It's been an up-and-down week for me. On the plus side, my bladder's under control and I haven't thought I was Goldberg since Monday. But yesterday I came home and I expected Rover to bark when I put the key in the door and of course he didn't, he'll never bark again, and I just cried and cried and today I just didn't want to get out of bed at all, I just wanted to die.
Mavis: The dog didn't bark.
Brenda: Why didn't the dog bark?
Mavis: The dog it was that died.
Brenda: The dog that didn't bark in the night.
Mavis: She let her dog die.
Brenda: She's a disgrace.
Mavis: She killed her dog.
Brenda: She neglects her mother.
Mavis: She killed it without a license.
Brenda: She neglects the coloured question.
Mavis: She neglects her housework.
Brenda: She neglects her figure.
Mavis: She's a subversive.
Brenda: She's a fallen woman.
Mavis: She sniffs bicycle saddles.
Judith: I did NOT kill my dog!!! How can you be so mean?
Mavis: When didn't you kill your dog?
Brenda: Where were you when you didn't kill your dog?
Mavis: What colour is Tuesday?
Brenda: Who are the 39 steps?
Mavis: What about Palestine?
Brenda: Why didn't they ask Evans?
Mavis: How many were going to St. Ives?
Judith: Thanks a lot guys! Now you made me wet myself
Mavis: It poured down your leg, did it?
Brenda: She likes to piss down her leg.
Mavis: She pisses down other people's legs.
Brenda: She pissed on the Pope and told him it was raining.
Mavis: On a Friday.
Brenda: In Lent.
Mavis: Before the watershed.
Brenda: Before the Queen.
Mavis: You bastard piss-pants.
Judith: Come on guys don't be so horrible! I need your support here  : )
Mavis: We're here for you, Judith  : (
Brenda: We are your friends  : (
Mavis: Open up to us.
Brenda: Tell us your problems.
Mavis: Half a crown for your sorrows.
Brenda: Two shillings to the end of the line.
Mavis: All change at Paddington.
Judith: I think you guys have been skipping your anti-Goldberg medication!
Mavis: It's mother's milk to us.
Brenda: Never leave home without it.
Mavis: One size fits all.
Brenda: Never knowingly undersold.
Judith: Maybe I'll come back later
Mavis: You're going nowhere, Judith.
Brenda: Nowhere in a hurry.
Mavis: You belong with us, Judith.
Brenda: We can take care of you.
Mavis: Watch over you.
Brenda: Ease the burden.
Mavis: Lighten the load.
Brenda: A song, a smile, and a kick in the teeth. Now I've wet myself.
Mavis: You've wet yourself?
Judith: Serves you right.
Mavis: Why did you wet yourself?
Judith: She did it on purpose.
Mavis: She's glad she wet herself.
Judith: You defile womankind.
Mavis: You're a malcontent.
Judith: You dishonour your parents.
Mavis: You desecrate the seat of your drawers. Now I've gushed too.
Brenda: Lapping round your ankles, is it?
Judith: You flaunt the stigmata of your shame.
Mavis: You wallow in your filth.
Brenda: You can't keep your pants dry.
Judith: You don't keep the sabbath.
Mavis: You're an aberration.
Brenda: You idolate heresy.
Judith: What's the highest prime number?
Mavis: Is your journey really necessary?
Brenda: Whatever happened to Leo Sayer?

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