| BOB-B: | OK everyone...I'm going to look in the wardrobe NOW |
| SAMMY: | Good luck BB! We're praying for you |
| JKP: | Bob, MAKE SURE THE TORCH IS WORKING |
| BOB-B: | You've all got my local police station number, right? |
| LINUS: | Sure B-B. |
| BOB-B: | If I'm not back in 30 seconds, RING |
| JKP: | Bob, is your knife sharp enough? |
| SAMMY: | God go with you, Bob |
| SARAH Q: | He is SO brave |
| Tom L: | He's just showing off. I bet he won't really look |
| BOB-B: | OK everyone I'm going to look NOW |
| JKP: | Bob, make sure to look behind all the clothes. Sometimes they hide behind the clothes |
| BOB-B: | If anything happens to me, I just want you all to know i LOVE you guys |
| LINUS: | B-B, you'll be fine. You can do this |
| BOB-B: | OK I'm really going NOW. |
| JKP: | I can't bear to look |
| JKP: | How long has it been? |
| SARAH Q: | Bob? |
| JKP: | Shit, this was a really bad idea. I have a bad feeling about this |
| LINUS: | Relax, everyone, he's probably just getting up his nerve to open it |
| JKP: | Shit, what if it's a Yeti? |
| SAMMY: | Or a Cyberman |
| Tom L: | Or a yog-soggoth. I bet it's a yog-soggoth. One of those things could pull his head right off |
| JKP: | I told you. I TOLD you all. HIS DEATH IS ON YOUR HEADS |
| LINUS: | Relax, everyone. He's fine. Come on, let's do the mantra |
| LINUS: | There are no monsters |
| SAMMY: | There are no monsters! |
| SARAH Q: | There ARE no monsters |
| Tom L: | Except the Yog-Soggoth |
| JKP: | Shit! What was that? |
| SARAH: | BOB!!!?? |
| JKP: | There's something outside my window! |
| LINUS: | JKP, calm down |
| JKP: | dont tell me to calm down there's a THING outside my window |
| Tom L: | i think there's something outside my house too |
| JKP: | When's my bloody mother coming home? |
| SARAH: | Where's Bob?? |
| BOB-B: | JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A BIKE |
| SARAH: | bob what happened |
| Tom L: | it bit his leg off. i just know it bit his leg off |
| JKP: | fuck bob what about me? This fucker's the size of an elephant |
| BOB-B: | I'm all right. An old cardigan fell on me. I passed out |
| LINUS: | It's over now Bob. Three cheers for Bob! |
| Tom L: | BOB YOU TURD, you scared the piss out of me |
| SAMMY: | Are you sure it was a cardigan? |
| Tom L: | I really do need a piss, but there's no light on in the bathroom |
| SAMMY: | BB, I don't want to scare you, but poke the 'cardigan' with a stick to be sure |
| JKP: | EXCUSE ME EVERYONE i hate to interrupt your party but there is a BEAST the size of Runcorn about to ram its tentacles through my fucking window |
| LINUS: | JKP, calm down. It's just the tree tapping on your window again |
| JKP: | Oh |
| JKP: | Yeah, you're right |
| JKP: | Phew |
| SAMMY: | JK, Are you sure it's a tree? |
| LINUS: | Come on, everyone, let's get it together. We're making big strides tonight! We're on a roll so let's carry on and help BB check under his bed, OK? |
| SARAH Q: | Mantra?? |
| LINUS: | There are no monsters |
| SARAH Q: | There ARE NO monsters! |
| BOB-B: | There are no monsters |
| OckerBruce: | G'day mates! What goes on here? |
| SARAH Q: | Bruce, this is a Fear of Monsters workshop |
| OckerBruce: | Fear of Monsters eh? Tell you what, I could have done with you blokes last night. Opened the fridge and there was a bloody eight-legged Spindly-gig squatting on me tinny. Two feet long and fangs the size of Reilly's todger. Chased me twice round the house before I cut it in half with a spade. It was half an hour before the stinger stopped working. |
| JKP: | Holy shit! |
| Tom L: | what the FUCK is a spindly-gig? |
| BOB-B: | Ohhhh... |
| OckerBruce: | That's nothing. Another time I was in the outback and a hairy great Jiggly-Scritch crawled into the sack with me. Eight eyes and mandibles as big as Rafferty's parrot. They lay their eggs in your bollocks, you know, and the young eat their way out through your wedding tackle. Right painful, it is, I've seen grown blokes wince when it happened to them. |
| SAMMY: | Bruce. Stop. |
| JKP: | I want my mother |
| OckerBruce: | Mind you I'd much sooner tangle with a Jiggly-Scritch than a Merry-Susan any day. They get under the floorboards and crawl out and gnaw your toes off when you're asleep. Inject a paralyzing venom so you don't feel a thing. Bloke I knew lost half his leg once, he was a heavy sleeper mind. |
| LINUS: | SHUT THE FUCK UP BRUCE |
| SAMMY: | Jesus. Jesus. Jesus |
| JKP: | I think I'm hyperventilating |
| SARAH Q: | Oh God Oh OH |
| OckerBruce: | Aw leave off you bloody chutney-ferrets, only Sheilas are scared of little things like that. Only thing I'm scared of is the Venomous Jack-Toad, the big winged ones I mean. And only then when they swarm. Strip a car to a shell and eat the blokes in it in a minute flat. One time over at Woolagong |
[SARAH Q, JKP, LINUS, SAMMY, Tom L and BOB-B have left the chatroom]