Is to publish books
Is to go on publishing books until we become well-known for it and receive all sorts of sexy manuscripts from neurotic nymphomaniac literary birds who are so desperate to be published they'll agree to a casting couch thing
Our books will have all the pages facing the right way round or we'll know the reason why not
We will never publish books by celebrities, bores, or celebrity bores
We are showing 2 current titles:
AUTHOR:
ULRICH HAARBURSTE
Ulrich Haarburste's Novel of Orbison in Clingfilm
ISBN: 978-0-9554602-0-3
It's a book
Click here for more information
It costs seven quid
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AUTHOR:
MICHAEL KELLY
Clara and Miles Act Up
ISBN: 978-0-9554602-1-0
It's another book
It costs ten quid, sometimes less for cash
Click here for more information
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Corporate Responsibility Spiel
All trees were felled responsibly with no-one drunk in charge of a chainsaw.
No endangered species or indigenous persons were living in them, at least by the time we'd finished.
All inks are coaxed gently out of pampered squids, emitted in sheer joie de vivre rather than fear.
Serapion Books takes ink-squid welfare very seriously, unlike some of our competitors who
apparently keep them in overcrowded tanks filled with terrifying predators or simply hammer
the ink out with mallets to judge by their suspicious silence on the issue.
We're not sure about the acidity of the paper. If one of our books burns
your hands off do us a favour and keep quiet about it.
No, it's ph-balanced, probably, like a girl shampoo.
Serapion Books deplores the habit of using books to twat spiders with
and asks that you not.
Wasps are fair game. Wasps are scum. Our ethical woodmills are infested
with the things and we sometimes snap and run amok twatting them with the stock.
Come to think of it if a dead or half-dead or very alive and very annoyed wasp or half-wasp
falls out of your book, keep shtumm about that too.
Serapion Books supports the right to self-determination of all downtrodden
minorities and species everywhere EXCEPT WASPS and dwarves, because we use dwarves
in our factories and don't like them getting uppity.
But we're fairly nice to them and pat them on the head if they've done well.
Enquiries: michaelhoratiokelly@yahoo.co.uk