..Tony Blair has ordered that any hereditary peers wishing to remain temporarily in the House of Lords should submit an essay of no more than 75 words explaining why they should be allowed to do so. Here is what I would write if I was them:

"Dear Prime Minister,
..Die, you grinning jackanapes, die! Die! Die! Go fuck yourself, or fellate Clinton again, or peddle your arse in Brussels, you traitorous upstart arriviste nothing, and then just die. Really, why don't you die? Everybody hates you. You aren't fit to govern Guernsey for a wet weekend, you pissy little man, let alone this great nation you undermine and betray daily. If you ever show your face in my village I will horsewhip your plebeian arse and nail your ears to a tree. I kill you good! Make you DEAD! Die, die, die, die, DIE!
..Yours, etc, etc."

Actually that's slightly over 75, but I was enjoying myself.